Michael Carducci presents: The Influential Engineer permalink
Attendees:
- Bob Paulin
- Jon Warrent
- Matt Sicker
- Simon Ta
- Steven Hicks
- Matt ?
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Mary ?
- Andrew (GE Transportation)
- GE Transportation is moving out of GE
- WABTek?”
Presenter: Michael Carducci
- 20 years exp, magician
- twitter: @MichaelCarducci
- email: michael@mago.co
- Most useful skills weren’t technical/developer skills - skills he learned as a musician
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Mentalism: using five senses to create illusion of a sixth sense;
- THere is a science to persuasion
- Our jobs are to sling code. Or effectiveness is the stuff around it.
- We have to lead a team, even if not in a leadership role.
- Even in highly technical fields, only 15% is due to one’s technical knowledge, the other 85% is the ability to lead
- Persuasion is a skill
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People aren’t rational
- Ask for a $200 upgrade; management said no
**
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success is going to go to those who can make their case well.
- Make your case optimally
- Given two options present the more costly or less costly first
- better to tell mgmt what they will save or what they will lose
- if you have a new info, when should you mention it is new
- if your idea has both strengths and weaknesses
- the goal is not to change opinions
- the goals it to affect behavior
Reals skills to use on Monday
- 12 tips for building consensus
- 6 concrete strategies for making case optimally
Understanding people - maslow’s hierachy of needs
- self actual
- self esteem
- belonging - love
- safety
- physiological
- wifi
- battery
Universal Principles of Influence
Law of Reciprocation
- I am obligated to give back to you the form of behavior that you first give to me (Dr Robert Cialidini?)
- Is it ethichal to do something for someone and then call it later?
- yes, necessary for society to function
- Future obligation for repayment of favors gives ua group a tremendous cometitive advantage
- Don’t fumble this; stay until all stories are done;
- If someone does you a favor, don’t answer: “no problem” “just doing my job” or “it was nothing”
- instead, “Absolutely, I know that if the situation were reversed, you’d do the same for me.”
- Don’t give away the favor that they owe you back
- reinforces the natural human tendency for reciprocation and natural self-belief that one is good
- “Of course, I know it’s important that this gets done; I know that if I needed something you’d be there for me.”
- If this is always happening, they may feel entitled
- Reciprocity works in negotiations too!
- Do it right away.
- “While you’re here, I need X, do you think you can help me out?”
- Always start with the larger request
- Retreat back to what you were after all along
- We usually do the opposite - start with the smaller one.
- Give them a chance to say Yes
- iF they do, great!
- if they say no, fall back to more moderate request
- Need to come back with the more moderate request right away!
- If you take time to think about it, it’s perceived as a separate request and not as a concession as part of a negotiation
If you retreat from the situation, you lose. If you retreat in the sitiation, you win.
- Dr. R. Cialidini
Motivated by scarcity
If you want to create a presuasive argument:
- You need to explain what it is about this that they can’t get anywhere else
- Managers weigh information about ponetial losses more heavily than information about potential gains
- Tell them what they want to hear
- “Milage Runs” are a great example
- Uber to Des Moines w/hotel, gas, red bull for driver less expensive than flight to des moines
- Scarcity works for information too
Consensus
People are more likely to say yes when they see other people doing the same thing
- It helps to know where the resistence is coming from
- Example: we want to use this new javascript framework
- Show consensus in the industry
- Google trends
Consistency
People live up to what they write down
- Present an idea, “so what do you all think about this”
- first person to speak out is going to tip it one way or another
- get osemone
Authority
If an expert says it, it must be true!
- Realize that you are the expert.
- If you are paid to do something, you are an expert.
- Junior expert vs senior expert.
- You might be the most junior expert on a team of experts, but you are an expert on a team of experts and you should carry yourself as such.
Establishing expertise
- Background
- Trustworthiness
- How do you show trustworthiness if they don’t know you?
- Lead with a weakness in your case
- Hey I wish I had a perfect solution for you, all we do is the best with what we have, there’s a real drawback to our approach, here it is
- Establishes as knowledgable enough about the pros and cons and honest enough to bring the cons to the surface
Being liked
People prefer to say yes to those they know and like
- similarities (peoplo who are like us)
- compliments (people who like us and say it)
- cooperative efforts (work with us toward a common goal)
You can’t win an argument
- holy wars in tech industry
- tabs vs spaces
- microservices vs monolith
- java vs go
A person convinced against their will, will be of the same opinion still.
- Dale Carnegie
Persons in an argument leave more convinced they’re right
- I’m even righter than I thought
Building Consensus - Pro Tips
- Begin in a friendly way
- Get the other person saying “Yes” immediately
- Hey, you want to make sure we’re productive right?….Then ramp up questions to the one you want to ask.
- Dramatize your ideas
- tell a story - don’t just stick to the data
- demonstration trumps explanation
- Listen to other ideas - don’t contradict
- at least hear the idea out
- Appeal to nobler motives
- Resort to higher authority
- Boss: “I like this idea, but it’s not up to me.”
- Employee: “When you present this to them, you will give it your full support and recommendation, right?”
- Boss: “Yeah, sure…”
- Don’t argue & criticize
- Try to honestly see things from other people’s perspective
- Admit when you’re wrong
- no body cares
- Be a good listener
- Ask more questions than statements
Others
- Let go of ego
- let go of credit - give credit to someone else
- Let others do most of the talking
- Let the other person feel the idea is theirs
Real skills for Monday
- see card
DBA = “Don’t Bother Asking”